Relationship Astrology: Bad Love Is Like Eating 98% Dark Chocolate

Dark Chocolate(Starry Night Astrology) Your eyes lock. There is something so plaintive in his look, like a lost soul wanting to be saved. Or he pursues you relentlessly. “You are the one. I need you.” It is a seductive, addictive message. And for a while, just a little while, it is just like that. He is so handsome; you can’t believe that he picked you. You drink in this heady power. You’ve found love, all consuming soul stirring, gut wrenching love. All systems go in the love department, your brain and your body sucks up the chemical mix of endorphins and hormones that he stirs in you. However, ultimately, this love is like eating 98% dark chocolate.

He forgets to call. Or some cruel words are spoken in anger. Or he wants you to drop your friends and concentrate on him. Then he stays out with his friends all night. Maybe some of his friends are women, but you aren’t supposed to worry about that. He borrows money but never has money to pay you back. He expects sex at a drop of a hat, whether you are too tired or too aggravated for it. You didn’t realize he drank this much or did so many drugs, but he does, and there is no money for his share of the bills or the dinner out or for anything YOU need. Not that he can keep a job. And it’s always someone else’s fault. Sometime, he tells you, it is your fault. You get angry; you have a bad fight. You want him to leave. Then he apologizes, tells you what a fool he’s been. “Don’t you know I love you, baby,” he whispers and you melt. After the make-up sex, the cycle starts all over again. You want to believe that this time it’s going to be different, but ultimately it isn’t.

What happened? Well sweetie, you got your self some bad love.

The Bard said, “The fault, my dear Horatio, is not in the stars, but in ourselves.” Certainly this is mostly true, but a good horoscope reading will point out the challenges you have in relationships and the challenges other people bring to the table.

Things to watch out for:
A heavy Pisces signature or Neptune aspecting a personal planet in the horoscope—Not that all Pisces are bad. That is too simplistic of an approach. What to watch out for is the tendency either in you or the other person to over romanticize the relationship. Those with a Pisces or Neptune signature tend to gloss over the faults, and magnify the good points of the person they love, often to the detriment of themselves and the relationship.

A heavy Scorpio signature or Pluto aspecting a personal planet—Again this is a not a characterization of Scorpios in general. What I am talking about here is that in relationships with a Plutonian theme there are special challenges surrounding the issues of trust and power and control in a relationship.

A heavy Aquarian signature or Uranus aspecting a personal planet—Uranus brings us “bad boys” into our sphere, for a while a least. Depending on the charts of individuals these types of relationships are either flickers of a candle flame or a lifetime of here again, gone tomorrow and then back again. The issues seem to be about personal freedom, but those that have difficulties with Uranus just plain have commitment issues and just can’t seem to manage their responsibilities to others.

Do you notice something here? Yes, the planets we are talking about are the outer planets, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. These planets have only been in the awareness of our species of the past two hundred years or less, depending on the planet, and just in the past two decades we have gotten a sense of what they are about. When they are active in relationships, they point out where we need to understand how we lie to ourselves, (Neptune), where we fail to trust (Pluto) and where we fail to honor our commitments (Uranus).

Until we navigate these issues successfully for some of us love is like eating 98% dark chocolate, looks goods, but too bitter to take for long.

Making Love Last: Mercury–It’s Our Story and We’re Sticking to It

Mercury Love Stories

Mercury Love Stories

Mercury is generally not thought of as a “relationship” planet. The planet of our thinking processes, business, commerce and communications, it just doesn’t fit in our notion of romance. At best it gets a glancing blow in composite and synastry chart readings. But we may have to revise our thinking on the importance of Mercury in a relationship. Several studies have shown the importance of Mercury’s processes in keeping a relationship strong.

While good communication between partners is universally recognized as an important element in a strong relationship, the functions of Mercury go deeper than that.

Judith Wallerstein in her 1995 book, “The Good Marriage” describes what astrologers would call a Mercury function as one of the 9 major tasks of making love last. She describes this task as “applying humor in appropriate ways and keeping the relationship interesting to laugh and ward off boredom and ennui.”

Still another aspect of Mercury that of the storyteller is an important quality in a long lasting relationship:

Those who endure have a story, and they stick to it. Robert Sternberg, dean of the school of arts and science at Tufts University, has researched this and has come up with about two dozen relationship stories, some good, some bad. The “fairy tale story” has a prince and a princess; the “visionist story” is a business model, accumulating homes, goods and successful children; the “travel story” says that life is a journey; the “police story” divides the partners’ roles into cop and perp, with the former constantly monitoring the latter; the “war story” means that two people expect constant fights. “What our research shows is that couples tend to be more satisfied if they have matching story profiles,” Sternberg says. Pair a fairy tale believer with a war story believer and “it won’t work,” he says.

Mercury, as the planet of communication, has an important role in maintaining a relationship, even those with less than desirable storylines. More than just being able to talk, Mercury lay the foundation of what the couple view as their reason for staying together.

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Do It Again, Baby: A Lesson in Twos

In my personal life, the number two is a recurrent theme. I was born on the second day of the second month extremely close to a birth time of 11:11 a.m. My name, Beth, (no, not Elizabeth, on the BC it is Beth) is the second letter of the Hebrew alphabet. I grew up in a house that was number 11 on the street. So you just might say that I am sensiitve to themes that involve numero dos.

Mercury in it own sign Gemini, is exactly halfway in its celestial duty in this sign. The second body of the astrologer’s lexicon, Mercury rules all things that comes in two, including twins. How Mercury cam to be associated with Gemini is a little fuzzy. But the story of Castor and Pollux, twin sons of the same mother, but different fathers, is a story of filial love and comradeship. When Pollux, who was mortal, died, his immortal brother asked Zeus that he should not be separated from his brother. Zeus made them both stars and fixed them in the constellation Gemini.

Though Mercury has turned direct, the higher octave of Mercury, Uranus, is now in station at, of all things, 22 degrees of Uranus preparing on July 1 to retrograde back a few degrees in Pisces until November of this year. Monica at Astrology Mundo, pointed out that the server problems with my regular blog may be related to this station of Uranus. Rob Tillet has this to say about retrograde planets:

Retrograde periods, although often problematic for us earthlings, are not particularly uncommon. . . As a rule, retrograde planets presage a period of seemingly inevitable or fated events, which relate to their sphere of influence. They present us with a series of events over which we seem to have little or no control, relating especially to the sign in which the retrogradation occurs.

It is af if Uranus has extended the Mercury retrograde period. Not only that, we are going to have to do over the lessons related to Uranus in Pisces we learned in the previous months until November of this year.

It looks like I have to wait until at least July 1 for the server problems with Astrology Explored to be permanently resolved. Until then, I keep posting here.

What has been your lessons with Uranus in Pisces? And do you think you need to do them over again?

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